Stupid Christmas Carols - Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe

She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog
And we'd begged her not to go
But she'd left her medication
So she stumbled out the door into the snow

When they found her Christmas mornin'
At the scene of the attack
There were hoof prints on her forehead
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe

Now were all so proud of Grandpa
He's been takin' this so well
See him in there watchin' football
Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle

It's not Christmas without Grandma
All the family's dressed in black
And we just can't help but wonder
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe

Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of pig
And a blue and silver candle
That would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig

I've warned all my friends and neighbors
Better watch out for yourselves
They should never give a license
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walkin' home from our house, Christmas eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe!

     A true Christmas classic if every there were one. There are so many things I don't understand though, why was Grandma walking home, what kind of kids and husband does she have that would let her walk home in the snow. It's terrible being lactose intolerant, thankfully I am not, because I love eggnog, and would hate to not be able to drink it around Christmas time. Unfortunately for the grandma in this song she was lactose intolerant, and drank eggnog anyway, that triggered such a bad allergic reaction that she had to go outside to take care of things. I'm assuming that all the bathrooms in the house were being used and she had to make use of a tree??? I don't know what type of reaction people with lactose intolerance get, but it must be bad if she had to venture out into the snow just so as to not make a giant mess of the hosts house. The possibility could be that she was going home to get medication, but again why would somebody not drive her?
    My opinion of her family continues to drop, 'when they found her Christmas morning'. The song doesn't say, but I'm assuming it starts on Christmas eve, so they left her outside all night, like why would they not have ran out to her as soon as a bathroom was available? I guess I don't know how long she would be sick from the eggnog, but I would think that she would have been able to run into the house quick and get herself into the bathroom without too much trouble. I guess her family just really hated her though and wanted her to freeze to death. The question remains though, did she freeze to death, or did the reindeer kill her when they ran her over? Her family is trying to bias us against Santa right off by saying scene of the attack, as if there is no chance that she was already dead when the sleigh rode over her. We shall probably never know. Had she frozen to death I could see her falling on her back or front, though I would think she would have probably curled up into fetal position to try and retain body warmth, admittedly there are problems with that though if there were hoof prints on her forehead and Claus marks on her back. If I may, let me ask, what are Claus marks? I've never heard of such a thing. Does Santa have some sort of special attack that he uses that is easily identifiable? Seeing as how he is a fat man, is a Claus mark just like indentations from all his fat? I have my doubts on that though, as he has to be light enough so that the reindeer can pull him through the sky, so he can't be so morbidly obese to have the ability to actually form items with the gross weight of his fat, just my two cents.
     Further reasons to think even less than I already do of this family, they are proud of 'grandpa' for not being sad at his wife's passing, for his playing cards, watching football and drinking beer. What kind of moral support did this family offer that he had to drown his sorrows by wallowing in drunkeness. I'm not sure what the deal is with his playing cards with cousin Belle, but I don't imagine that it can be anything pure or good.
     I don't understand where they would send gifts back too. If the family all came together for Christmas where else was Grandma getting gifts from that they could be sent back? If the Grandpa has power of attorney all the gifts should go to him, or the decisions at least of whether to keep them of give them back to the gifters should reside solely on him.
     I love how the person singing, I'm assuming a grandchild, as he refers to grandma and grandpa, acts all righteous and pompous and 'warns' everybody about Santa claus who doesn't know how to drive and will kill your loved ones, though Santa actually flies, so the FAA should be regulating that not the DMV. They fail to mention anything about not letting lactose intolerant people drink eggnog or making sure that they bring their medication along to any and all events where there could be dairy.

     So in conclusion, this is a SUPER messed up family that hated their grandma/mom and evidentially doesn't have a probablem with a grandpa doting on his granddaughter or cousin, not sure if cousin Belle is his cousin or the grandchild that is singing the songs cousin.

.... what on earth is this song. Never heard of it. Never heard it.

I'll be taking this one to the pub for folk session night I feel.....

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