Convicting yourself much?

     You just have to love music these days, there is so much stupidity in it, it leaves me wondering what people were thinking when they wrote songs, and if they didn't think of the effects of confessing to doing crimes in their music, not going to go very well in court when you have a song telling the world what you did....
 
Right now he's probably slow dancing with a bleached-blond tramp,
and she's probably getting frisky...
right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink
'cause she can't shoot whiskey...
Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool stick,
showing her how to shoot a combo...

And he don't know...

That I dug my key into the side
of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats...
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

Right now, she's probably up singing some
white-trash version of Shania karaoke.
Right now, she's probably saying, "I'm drunk"
and he's a-thinking that he's gonna get lucky,
Right now, he's probably dabbing on
3 dollars worth of that bathroom Polo...

Oh, and he don't know...

That I dug my key into the side
of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats,
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl,
'cause the next time that he cheats...
Oh, you know it won't be on me!

No... not on me

'Cause I dug my key into the side
of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats...
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

Oh, maybe next time he'll think before he cheats...

Oh, before he cheats... oh, oh. 
 
Carrie Underwood, Before He Cheats

     Okay, so we have this girl who is mad at her X, whether it's boyfriend, or husband, the song doesn't really make very clear, I'm guessing probably only boyfriend because of the line, "I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl," which makes me think that he's been with a lot of girls. However be that as it may, this guy broke up with her, and in retaliation she vandalized his car. Imagine how it's going to go in court.

Judge: blah, blah, blah, normal stuff judge says.
Dude: Carrie wrecked my car, slashed the tires, wrecked the seats, I'm want her to pay for damages.
Carrie: I didn't do any such thing.
Dude: Did so.
Carrie and dude start yelling and verbally fighting. Judge starts pounding gavel.
Judge: Dude do you have any proof?
Dude: Sure do, here. (He hands the judge a CD) This disc has all the proof in the world I need.
Judge gets the assistant guy to play it over the sound system. After the song finishes playing, the judge looks at Carrie and says.
Judge: Carrie, seriously, you didn't do it? you just confessed to everything he accused you of in this song. You seriously don't expect me to believe that you didn't do it after you said you did do it.
Carrie: Silence.
Judge: This court rules in favor of dude, Carrie will pay for damages to his vehicle.

     I mean seriously, when you do something stupid, like destroying other peoples property you don't go and write music about it. Any honest judge is going to have to rule in favor of the dude whose car she wrecked.
     As a random side note slashing holes in tires isn't very easy, I've cut motorcycle tires, to get them off the rim in the past, and without breaking the bead first and getting an edge of rubber to cut, it's next to impossible to just slash holes in them. The rubber is tough.