Baptist Baloney

     For the last few months I've been attending a Baptist congregations services, due to no choice of my own, I should add. In that time I've been blown away with all the illogical and downright stupid things I've heard. This blog post is dedicated to all the stupid, illogical, things I've heard said.

     Lets start with one of the most annoying things, getting SCREAMED at. You probably didn't care for my shouting of the word screamed, well imagine, if you dare, a guy getting up on the ”stage” and spending an hour screaming at you. Its no fun, let me tell you. What's the point in attending the service? I always thought it was to learn about God, but I guess I'm wrong. Evidentially the true reason is so you can have somebody scream at you and tell you how evil you are. I already know how evil I am, much more than some preacher knows. Screaming preachers just annoy me, not to mention they probably scare away a lot of the unsaved.

     There was a special speaker a while back who said that Jesus is a crutch. But looking up crutch in the dictionary resembles nothing like Jesus.

n 1: a wooden or metal staff that fits under the armpit and reaches to the ground; used by disabled person while walking
2: anything that serves as an expedient; "he uses drugs as a psychological crutch"

adj 1: serving to promote your interest; "was merciful only when mercy was expedient" [ant: {inexpedient}]
2: appropriate to a purpose; practical; "in the circumstances it was expedient to express loyalty"
n : a means to an end; not necessarily a principled or ethical one

      So I don't get the connection of any of that with who or what Jesus is. Jesus doesn't serve to promote my interests, as my interests are mostly carnal. He certainly doesn't hold me back in a restrictive sort of way. What's the deal

      This one is a kicker, so the pastor, and I hesitate calling him that, 'cause it puts a lot of good men in bad company, tells us in the congregation that we all should be singing even if we don't have the best voices and then quotes Psalms 98:4 (Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all the earth: make a loud noise, and rejoice, and sing praise.) Later in the sermon the pastor speaker goes on to bash CCM as being evil, and music of the devil because of the beat, or something silly like that. Regardless of the beat, genre, volume, or the length of the bands hair, they can be making joyful noise unto the Lord. As for the volume issue the verse clearly says make a loud noise, so complaining about bands that scream their praise is just really counterintuitive. I also find it funny that they categorically organize all "new" music as bad, and the "old" music as good, but at one point the "old" music was new, so it nothing more than a double standard.

     Last, but certainly not least. A while back there was a special speaker, I forget exactly what his entire point was, but he said something about "nothing in life being free", and how we have to give money to the church to support it. As many of you will doubtless know I'm a big fan of Open Source and Creative Commons, both two great things, and both free, admittedly not all Open Source is free, but by and large it all is. Now this speaker said something about when you go shopping they don't let you pay what you want, and used that as an example of how we need to tithe. That was a bad example though because there are plenty of places where you can pay what you want, The Humble Bundle anybody? or what about the free software that has a donate button where you can pay what you want, or not pay at all. It's really not that uncommon an idea, it just wouldn't support that speakers agenda so he just omitted it, it's not like they were lying or anything, just withholding some facts.